My Forever Horse

I hear this catchphrase from time to time and I got to thinking about why it doesn’t set well with me. A horse is a forever commitment, even if you sell it. Your commitment while you have the horse is to give him the best care you can afford. Another responsibility is education that is respectful and beneficial for the horse and helps him be able to fulfill reasonable and flexible expectations. If the horse needs a different situation, your commitment includes placement in the most fitting situation possible and readiness to help re-home the horse if necessary. So, in this frame of thinking, every horse is a forever horse. But I don’t think that’s what most folks are talking about when they use this phrase.

What worries me is the thinking that there is some magical horse out there that is the one and only horse for you. The one who will mysteriously know exactly what you want and need. One that comes running at the sight of you whinnying with joy. A horse that is confident, kind, reliable, unflappable, consistent, and has no soundness issues. Do you want a side of Leprechaun rainbow sparkle dust with that? 🍀

It is true that a suitable horse is the best choice. Suitable for the owner’s abilities, experience, and confidence. If the horse meets that criteria you can see if the horse is able to do “the thing” someone wants to do. For instance, a horse that is already well-schooled for mid to high-level working equitation may not suitable for a novice rider even if they eventually want to get involved in that particular activity. Why? Because the novice rider doesn't have the coordination and education to meet the horse close enough to where he’s at. And the future is for no one to know. By the time the novice rider has grown to the point where they can participate in their chosen activity, they may have decided it’s not what they would like to do after all. It’s not to say a well educated horse is not desirable, of course it is! Just maybe not a discipline specific horse if you’re just getting started in horse activities.

The reality I want to focus on is that horse people spend most of their time WITH their horse. Cleaning stalls or pens. Walking from here to there, grooming, saddling, groundwork or lunging, spending some time focused on education, and then back to unsaddle, groom, walk, and put away. Add to that time spent just hanging out scratching and petting. Feeding carrots for no particular reason. Even when you’re out involved in your chosen activities, you’ll be hanging out with your horse 90% of the time and doing “the thing” you set out to do 10% of the time. This is where the meat of your relationship is. Getting to know one another better and better and enjoying one another.

Here’s the scoop on my “forever” horses. Some I chose, and some chose me. I bred some, bought some, was given some, and rescued some. Some became a forever horse because I was their last chance. A few of them found wonderful forever homes because I knew my time with them had accomplished what they needed to move forward. Nearly all of them challenged me to be more than I already was. Learn more, think more, be more patient, or more clear. It’s humbling to be told by an animal that you’re not making the grade but ignoring them would solve nothing. So I dug deep and fought hard for the next step they needed. A few broke my heart with career-ending injuries or by simply leaving this life. A couple of situations had my vision for the horse at odds with the owner so they were taken elsewhere. That’s hard. It would be easier to shut the door on my emotions instead of risking the pain of parting with these special horses.

I have had a small training facility for decades now and I’ve tried my best to give each and every horse a solid and caring education. I want good things for all of them! But there are a few that become forever horses whether they stay here with me or not. They forever changed me. Made me better for the forever horses that are still out there.

Maybe that’s a strange definition of “forever horse.” Probably is. I’ve been known to be strange. I guess for me a forever horse is suitable, yes, but also engenders something in me that makes me want to be a better version of myself for them. Take the time. Read the book. Talk to a mentor. Try something new. I suppose in some strange way, I become the forever human and maybe that’s how I seem to attract forever horses.

One of my hopes for the equestrian world is that we all strive to be forever humans, doing what is most beneficial and respectful for the horses that come across our paths. Let us be forever faithful to them if they are with us for a season or for a lifetime.