After the Clinic is Over

I have traveled and taught a fair number of clinics in the last few years. My perspective has changed probably because I have changed. That’s a good thing. So after the last ride is over and I’m headed to the airport, what is on my mind?

Well, in the past I found horses a lot easier to interact with than people. Still do in many ways. I now understand that I’m neurodivergent and process things differently than most. That’s why teaching people and especially traveling to teach was extremely draining, overwhelming, and a cornucopia of self-doubt. I kept going to try and give something positive to people and their horses. Sometimes it happened. Some information made a clear positive change! Sometimes it was, well, meh. And I would scribble pages and pages of notes in my notebook in a valiant attempt to do better. No wonder it seemed so hard.

Over time and with tons of therapy (yep, I’ll stand right up and say it), I’m settling inside and seeing myself and my role as a teacher more clearly. For decades, I’ve been a horse trainer who taught people because it was mandatory. Frighteningly mandatory. It’s pretty natural for me to teach horses. It’s not natural for me to teach people. But that’s where the inside work made the big changes. Now teaching is really interesting because people are interesting (instead of confusing and anxiety-inducing). Before, my own internal struggles pushed me to a sense of false confidence, overstated beliefs, and oh, so many “no’s” and not nearly enough “yes’s.”

Now, without emotional jack-in-the-boxes leaping around inside I can enjoy observing the horse and rider I’m working with and do what I can to guide them to what I think a positive next step would look like. My decisions are based on my education and my experience. I’ve worked very hard on both and that’s what I have to offer. I have my journey to offer as well; awareness of ourselves brings awareness of how we affect other people and our horses. I offer horse-positive techniques, asking the question, “What is the horse getting out of this?” I try to explain the how and why behind the guidance I give. I strive to do all this in a caring atmosphere of safety, guidance, feedback, encouragement, and laughter.

So what’s on my mind nowadays after I finish a clinic? Well, the first thing is I look over my notes to make sure I wrote down everything I wanted to. Not in an internal panic but to better look back while it’s fresh in my mind to observe and learn. Every clinic is an opportunity for me to hone my own education and teaching. Every horse is different, even if I’ve seen similar horses before. Every person is different, that’s enough said! When we combine them we have completely unique, never duplicated duets of horse and rider. How can I help the horse within the comfort zone of the rider and vice versa? What is the more profitable thing to work on next? How does it fit into their program? Do both the horse and rider understand the step we are taking and why? Were there questions I don’t feel I answered completely? “If I could do it over again…” notes are in the margins. I may later message a student and offer the suggestions I thought of after the fact because sometimes, it just doesn’t come to mind in the time I’ve got to work with.

Then I sigh and smile. That was a lot of work! I rarely sit while I teach and I ride all or nearly all of the horses to get information quickly to and from the horse. There’s a lot of interaction with people (which I’m growing less and less exhausted by. Again, yay therapy!)

So, in the end, it is about horses. They are what we’re focusing on, and what an amazing focal point! But really…when you can help someone out of frustration, fear, being stuck, learn the next thing…when they smile and their horse relaxes because they understand…

Yeah. That moment right there. That’s what I’m thinking about after the clinic is over.